Gotta Win 'Em All

I've come to the conclusion that what I've been writing lately is terrible. If you look at my most recent posts, it's all really...depressing. They're reminders of a less than stellar few months for Men's Ice Hockey. That's not good for two reasons. One, because of the obvious. There's still reasons to be completely amped up on this Terrier hockey team. We've got enough games left to turn things around and we can make it back into NCAA play. And two, because I've been neglecting women's ice hockey. I hate when people neglect women's ice hockey.

Thus this post was born. One of the most research filled posts I've ever written. It took me two full days to write it. And it's a post in which I combine my love for both teams.

Coming after the jump: a post comparing BU men's and women's ice hockey.




To Pokemon.

Oh no, you read that right. This is a tradition of sorts that I started with a friend of mine our freshmen year and it's something I still do (on the down low of course) but now it's time to throw discretion out the window and reveal the twisted inner workings of my mind. Some of these are much more realistic than the others, and some are just straight up stupid.

Thanks to Bulbapedia for the help with this. Some of the info came straight from that site, other parts of it came from...other sources. Namely my imagination. I'm sure you can decipher which is which.


As a disclaimer, obviously none of this is meant to be malicious or real, or whatever. Also, feel free to disagree and share which Pokemon you feel would better fit the athlete. But in the end, remember, I'm comparing athletes to fictitious Japanese cartoons. It's gonna be alright.


Also Generation I only. All other generations can burn in hell with Digimon.


Kerrin Sperry
No other choice for Sperry except Onix. An absolute rock in net, but still got some sick flexibility for those split saves. As I also learned from Bulbapedia, apparently Onixes are hotheaded. All I'm gonna say is I wouldn't wanna crash the net on Sperry.

Anthony Moccia
While I was considering Mewtwo here, I decided to go to Pidgeotto. Pidgeotto is one of the most underrated Pokemon not evolved to the highest form. I'm telling you, in my extensive knowledge of playing Pokemon Yellow a million times when I was young, I always threw out my Pidgeotto in intense situations because I felt like it would always evolve the fastest. Young Moccia just needs time.

Britt Hergesheimer
Hergesheimer has the best first name ever. Like in the history of man kind. So for no other reason than that, she gets my favorite Pokemon of all time - Jolteon. Evolved from that dumb, too-many-voweled Eevee to become a total fox...made of jagged and electrical edges.

Ryan Ruikka
There really is no other choice for this one other than Alakazam. A master of all things psychic. I mean, an Alakazam has an IQ over 5,000 (it's a dumber version than Ruikka obviously) but it's the smartest of all the Pokemon so we'll give it to him.

Ahti Oksanen
Now I know I'll get a lot of slack for giving him a very feminine, un-Finnish Pokemon, but hear me out on this one. I'd say Jigglypuff for a few reasons. First of all, Jigglypuffs are known to mesmerize people and tell me one true Terrier fan that has not been in love with this kid from the second he stepped out on the blue line. Beyond that Jigglypuffs obviously have a beautiful singing voice (which I'm still holding out hope Ahti does), and Ahti's got such a great...interview voice. I'm also lead to believe a Jigglypuff will always aim high, so yeah, you could say they always shoot from blue line.

Kathryn Miller
Kathryn Miller is definitely a special Pokemon. But I'll go with Growlithe here, mostly because they are fiercely loyal. Miller is just one of those players that I identify with being a Terrier through and through.  She also definitely loves those people that come to the games. Growlithes care about the stripes on the front, not the ones on the back.

Patrick MacGregor
Ya know, it's hard to find the most Truck like Pokemon. But of the lesser-Truck types, I've decided Blastoise is a good fit. According to Bulbapedia, Blastoise rams into opponents, can shoot water from its cannons with enough force to punch holes in steel, and can also throw Husky-type Pokemon through glass.

Meghan Riggs
Riggs is from Minnesota so I can only assume that she must be as nice as all the rest of the people in that state. For that reason, Riggs can be Chansey. Chansey is the nicest of all the Pokemon, sharing her eggs and each every day for injured Pokemon. I am only forced to believe that if Riggs laid an egg every day, she would give it to her injured teammates.

Matt Grzelcyk
In a completely non-biased way, I'm going with Pikachu. Like I mentioned, I was a Pokemon Yellow user so I started out with Pikachu and I refused to put him in storage or evolve him into Raichu. Pikachu is without a doubt in league of his own amongst the "rookie" Pokemon, so it seems pretty fitting.

Shannon Doyle
Oh Doyle...rules. (Couldn't resist.) Other Pokemon that rule: Zapdos. Zapdos is easily the best and coolest of the legendary birds. I'm not really sure that Doyle could start a thunderstorm by flapping her wings, but hey, we'll go with it.

Shannon Stoneburgh
First, let me just say that Stoneburgh is one of the most aptly named hockey players I've seen in a while. She has a ridiculously intimidating presence and so for that I think she'd be Rhydon. Rhydon is defense first in the sense that they use their massive bodies to get to the puck, er, win in the Poke battle.

Cason Hohmann
After his explosive offensive boost this year, there is no other Pokemon for Hohmann than Mew. Realistically, Poke trainers look at Mew and think that the little pink floating kitty thing isn't going to do any damage. But has Mew ever lost a battle? In the history of Pokemon? No. Mew dekes up through traffic and walks right in before racking up points on your stupid team and your dumb sieve.

Kayla Tutino
Kayla Tutino is as good at playing the different aspects of hockey as she is at speaking different languages. For that reason Electabuzz is the best Pokemon for her. Electabuzz does all kinds of fighting, from electric to psychic to fighting. It's also a thing that apparently an Electabuzz freaks out at the sight of red, but I'm pretty sure it's a typo meant to say the sight of maroon.

Ben Rosen
Man, Rosen is one of the most underrated guys on the team. In his time here, I've gained a lot of respect for what he's done for this team. I'd call Rosen Ditto, mostly because he's willing to do whatever to get this team where it needs to be. Came in playing defense, asked to move to forward, and he just did it. Doesn't matter which line he was on, he played to win. And let's not forget when he willingly gave up his spot in a game last year so Parker could work some things out with the lines. Dittos are also known to ride four wild ponies at once.

Sarah Lefort
Lefort is good at hockey. She is good because she scores lots of goals. In order to score those goals, she uses her hockey stick. Therefore, Lefort shall henceforth be known as Farfetch'd. The only thing about Farfetch'ds are that they love their sticks. So. That.

Alexis Woloschuk
From my Google research I learned that Woloschuk is a big Poulin fan (hell, me too!) so for that I'll call her Ponyta. Ponytas get better by chasing around other Ponytas and other Rapidashes. I'm pretty sure by getting the chance to play with her favorite player, Woloschuk will get better, too.

Danny O'Regan
The first half of this one has nothing to do with me, but thanks to the glory of Twitter I can no longer think of O'Regan without thinking about other animals. So, obviously, I'm going with Golduck. But the second part of this is that Golducks are psychic and can communicate through telepathy. O'Regan is so god damn good sometimes I could completely believe that he has telepathy.

Dakota Woodworth
Hair. Moltres. For real. I mean, this is probably one of those less serious ones, but there's no way I couldn't give Woodworth a fire type Pokemon. Also a legendary bird. The fieriest of legendary birds. And also awesome.

Mike Moran
Here's where I blame social media (again) for giving me an inside look at the so-called life of Moran. So completely unrelated to anything I think, have ever thought, or ever will think, Moran's gotta be Muk. I'll go ahead and let you Google the life of a Muk if you can't figure out why.

Christina Wiley
Once upon a time I had Buddhism class with Wiley. We learned about Buddhism all around the world, but we also learned about Zen Buddhism in China. Know what else is in China? Chinese dragons. Know which Pokemon is basically a Chinese dragon? Gyarados. Also one of the best Pokemon because even though it is a water type Pokemon, it can also learn fire and electric attacks. That was creepy.

Kaleigh Fratkin
Fratkin is gritty on the back end. For that I want to giver her Shellder. A defense-first Pokemon, Shellder isn't letting anything by it. But beyond that, when a Shellder shuts it can make a beautiful pearl. Look at the metaphor right there.

Garrett Noonan
No lie I have been beyond scared to post my Noonan pick. Not because I don't think it's accurate, but as arguably the most liked Terrier on the men's team I felt like someone might actually stalk me and kill me if they disagree with what I say. But, I'm just going to say it: Dragonite. Dragonite is bulky, but agile and fast. Dragonite is also ridiculously strong and, ahem, has a bit of, ya know, a temper. A Dragonite will go on a rampage when it's mad and it might not cool off for...a while. But at the core of it, Dragonites have a kindhearted disposition. More than just "kind." Dragonites save people from sinking ships. Noonans save teams from sinking seasons.

Shannon Mahoney
I just learned some interesting facts from the internet about Mahoney, but they can all be summed up into one thing: long hair, don't care. She played on the boys' hockey team before her school established a girls' team. Because. She held the bench pressing record. Because. She also dabbled in lacrosse. Because. How BA. A BA Pokemon? Haunter. Okay, don't go looking at the description because it's stupid and doesn't make sense. But to me, a Haunter just goes about on its business, doing the damn thing along the way.

Jake Moscatel
Oh, Moscatel. There are so many options but I'll go ahead and say Bulbasaur. Bulbasaurs are some of the best entry level Pokemon because they can learn some sick grass and poison moves before evolving. They're loyal and awesome. But actually, in some anime somewhere a Bulbasaur was abandoned for decades by its owner but still loved him to death when he got back. Moscatel sat up in the stands for such a long time, yet was so thankful to have the opportunity to finally get in a game or two this year.

Lillian Ribeirinha-Braga
Lillian will be the only Terrier I do not refer to by their last name because I frankly don't have the time to type it again...and again. For Lillian I'll go with Machop. Machop is part of one of the best tri-evolution Pokemon in the game. I've seen some good stuff from her and I feel like in a few years time she'll make her way up Machamp. Only...with less arms.

Ryan Santana
I hear Santana likes to eat. A lot. I've seen pictures of Santana eating. A lot. Jesus I've seen a picture of Santana's puke. Oh lord why did I remind myself of that. Anyways, Santana would be the most glutenous of all Pokemon - Golbat. Still a badass yeah, but is going to suck blood all day err day until it can't fly straight.

Caroline Campbell
Campbell is one of those people that can surprise you. She's redshirted, but when I've seen her play in the past, I always remember being pleasantly surprised. That's a Clefable move right there. Clefables have random attacks which is reminiscent of when I don't really expect something from Campbell yet she's dishing it out anyways.

Sam Kurker
Kurker has been more physical than I honestly expected him to be. Sure, he's also been in the box more than I expected. But I also never expected him to be the one to stand up to Bigos but on January 11th I was so excited to be proven wrong. If he could, I think he would tear people apart. So for that I'll give him Aerodactyl. The Pokemon that basically exists to rip people to shreds.

Diana Bennett
Before I begin, if you do not follow Diana Bennett on Twitter you need to do so immediately. Some of the hands down funniest tweets in the game. For that reason, I'd go with Meowth for Bennett. Meowth was always cracking jokes in his human voice and despite the fact that he rolled around with those idiots on Team Rocket, you couldn't help but be like, "hey, I want a Meowth."

Evan Rodrigues
You cannot laugh at Rodrigues's before I explain it. You also need to be a serious Pokemon player to get this reference. Rodrigues is definitely Diglett. Diglett you say? Not even Dugtrio? No, not Dugtrio. Because that one god damn cave you are forced to go into to get to Mount Moon, you run into a Diglett EVERY TWO FEET. Never Dugtrio and if you do it just runs away. Rodrigues, much like a Diglett, shows up everywhere. Oh, he's on a breakaway? Whatever. Oh, now he's on the point on a power play? Okay... Oh, now he's scoring on your sieve...again?! Digletts hate sieves.

Rebecca Russo
Russo is another one of those players that I expect to keep getting better with time. Good things so far, and things will be great soon. But for now I'll say she's Nidoran (insert female symbol here that I'm too lazy too look up). Going to be the absolute Nidoqueen someday.

Wade Megan
I almost didn't want to make Megan a Pokemon and instead a Poke trainer, but I'm not going to throw off the mojo now. But I do think Megan would make a convincing Dodrio. I know that sounds stupid, considering last time I checked Megan only had one head. But a Dodrio also has three hearts, and (okay this is cheesy, whatever) Megan's love for this school is bigger than a lot of others. Dodrios are also known to twig.

Jenelle Kohanchuk
Kohanchuk has gone through a lot in her time here, but she's always been great at what she does. For that reason, I'll say Starmie. Starmie's may get knocked down or hurt, but they always get back up (and regrow limbs). So despite injury, a Starmanchuk is tenacious and motivated.

Matt Nieto
I just want you all to know that as I sat here debating about which Pokemon to pick for Nieto, I said to myself "what is the most West Coast Pokemon I can think of?" The only logical answer was Scyther. Scyther has ninja like moves. Matt Nieto is a ninja.

Isabel Menard
I'm going to give Menard a rather stupid Pokemon which has some great traits. I'm going for Vileplume on this one, strictly because they cause paralysis. I've seen Menard stop defenders dead in their tracks. Tisk, tisk. Never going to beat a Vileplume. Or a Menard.

Matt Ronan
Ronan is the best two way player ever, in the history of the world, we're all in agreement on that one, right? Sandslash is the best Pokemon for two way battling because hello, it's covered in spikes. You see a ball of spikes coming at you, you run. At the same time, if you charge a seemingly harmless yellow armadillo, he's going to roll up into said spikey ball and play some of the best defense since the Berlin Wall.

Sean Escobedo
Escobedo is one of those Pok-I mean defenseman-who does what he is supposed to do. No jumping up and getting out of position and screwing up the entire god damn play. For that he can be Omastar. A great defensive Pokemon who waits for its unsuspecting pray to come close before it strikes. Escobedo-star.

Jill Cardella
As a leader of the Terriers, Cardella is going to have to be Venusaur. Venusaurs provided a pleasant aroma or something like that to soothe Pokemon in battle. As all good leaders should. I'm not saying Cardella soothes people by running around spraying perfume or anything...but it could happen.

Sarah Bayersdorfer
Bayersdorfer went through some injuries before she ended up a Terrier. But she's moved on and has done amazing thus far. I'll give her Wartortle because of her ability to rebound. Wartortles are really tough creatures and I'd say Bayersdorfer is one, too.

Matt Lane
The thing about Matt Lane is that he's always improved. Every single game I swear I see him getting better. Therefore I've decided to dub him Charmander. Charmander is the Pokemon you always start with. None of that Squirtle or Bulbasaur crap (sorry Moscatel). Even though I played Pokemon Yellow and was forced (willingly forced) to start with Pikachu, Charmander was always the one I'd pick up as soon as I could. One day CharMatter will become Charizard. And when that day comes all other teams are doomed.

Taylor Holze
Holze has got some fire inside of her. Coincidentally, so does Arcanine. Arcanines are regal and beautiful and everyone wants one. Who doesn't want a Taylor Holze?

Jordan Juron
I've definitely liked what I've seen so far from Juron. I think she's feisty. To me, that equals Raticate. A Raticate is not afraid to go after bigger enemies. Raticates are always on the offensive, always ready. Double J is intimidating like the big rat, but definitely not as...rat looking.

Louise Warren
I don't really try and pick favorites, but I've really liked Warren for a while. She's majestic. Not like, unicorn majestic, though. More like Ninetales majestic. Really smart, always knows what she's doing. Ninetales was created when nine saints all came together...or something. Warren was created when three towers all came together...or something.

Sahir Gill
Gill has always continued to impress. Every year I find myself liking him more and more. Kabutops seems to be a good fit. Kabutopses are offensive threats, always, because of their sycth-like hands. Kabutopses are also adaptive and when their pray took to living on land, so did they. The best non-drafted Pokemon ever.

Marie-Philip Poulin
I almost didn't have such an amazing Pokemon for Poulin, but it finally came to me. Rapidash. Agile and speedy, Rapidashes score more points than any of the other Pokemon. They chase anything that moves because they want to race it and battle it. Often found in the Canadian areas of the Poke map, a Rapidash is almost guaranteed to win a medal on behalf of all the other Rapidashes. Also, beautiful.

Matt O'Connor
Alright so there are no "sexy goalie" Pokemon that wink and/or salute, so it was tough. But I settled for Mr. Mime. Mr. Mime creates invisible barriers that no one can get by. I also read that if you interrupt a Mr. Mime while he's miming, he'll slap you silly. Direct quote. Matt O'Connor be slappin' Eagles silly.

Braly Hiller
Man, I really miss Hiller. I know she's off getting bio-hips or whatever, but I can't wait until she comes back. She is one of those other players that just bleeds scarlet and makes me proud to come support the team game in and game out. In terms of Pokemon, I see Hiller as Kangaskhan. Kangaskhan is a fierce fighting spirit, no matter what. Won't back down in battle, for anything. Loves all other Kangaskhans and will probably kill anyone who tries to touch them.

Sean Maguire
Seriously, again, why are there no "sexy goalie" Pokemon? But Sean Maguire definitely deserves Cloyster. Cloyster is the best defensive Pokemon there is, no ifs, ands or buts. When a Cloyster clamps down, there is no opening it. I mean, kid barely ever takes off his mask, even. Defense all day.

Alissa Fromkin
Fromkin is just a solid tendy. For that reason I'll give her Kakuna. Because Metapod is dumb and should feel bad. But the only thing Kakunas can do is defend. Defend, defend, defend. Fromkin's all over that one.


For the record, that was pretty tough. There are a lot of stupid Pokemon out there. Remember Lickitung? No? Don't worry I tried to block it from my childhood memories, too.



In all seriousness though, this weekend is one of the most important for our hockey teams. Women's ice hockey is back in action on Saturday when they play quarterfinals versus UConn. Yes, we did just beat UConn. Yes, we did just win the regular season. But it will by no means be a cake walk. It's right on campus so there's no excuse for us all to not get over there. It will be over before the men's game, too!

The men have two game this weekend, both at home, both versus Vermont. We need to win these games if we have any hope of getting home ice (which we can still get if we win the rest of our games). But the team will need a lot of support to do it. This team plays its best when the fans are at their best.

Three games and we need three Ws. Get out there and support your Poke-Terriers. Go BU!